I am finding it rather difficult to be a good blogger with the hours I have been working, and with all the projects I've got going I am trying to finish up (as in the 'Parsonage Project' in the Trash post!! Eek!). Ah, well...One must get priorities in line and blogging apparently isn't on top! Haha.

I loved the following section of today's bible reading for me.  It comes from Psalms 17, and it is the echo of my heart lately.  So much has been said about my current situation...rumors abound, and they aren't very nice!! My mom keeps saying I should just tell people the full truth...but I know people well enough to know that even that would not stop the gossiping and the rumors.  More than likely, it would just be more fuel for the fire! 

Instead, I have turned every hurtful thing that has been said over to Jesus.  In the end, His opinion is the only one that I really care about anyway. :-) If I don't add fuel to those gossipy, rumor mongering fires...eventually they will burn out.......right?

So it was with great comfort that I read Psalms 17 today.  It's been my prayer from the beginning.  Search me and know me, O Lord!

1 Listen while I build my case, God, the most honest prayer you'll ever hear. 2 Show the world I'm innocent - in your heart you know I am. 3 Go ahead, examine me from inside out, surprise me in the middle of the night - You'll find I'm just what I say I am. My words don't run loose. 4 I'm not trying to get my way in the world's way. I'm trying to get your way, your Word's way. 5 I'm staying on your trail; I'm putting one foot In front of the other. I'm not giving up. 6 I call to you, God, because I'm sure of an answer. So - answer! bend your ear! listen sharp! 7 Paint grace-graffiti on the fences; take in your frightened children who Are running from the neighborhood bullies straight to you.

8 Keep your eye on me; hide me under your cool wing feathers 9 From the wicked who are out to get me, from mortal enemies closing in. 10 Their hearts are hard as nails, their mouths blast hot air. 11 They are after me, nipping my heels, determined to bring me down, 12 Lions ready to rip me apart, young lions poised to pounce. 13 Up, God: beard them! break them! By your sword, free me from their clutches; 14 Barehanded, God, break these mortals, these flat-earth people who can't think beyond today. I'd like to see their bellies swollen with famine food, The weeds they've sown harvested and baked into famine bread, With second helpings for their children and crusts for their babies to chew on. 15 And me? I plan on looking you full in the face. When I get up, I'll see your full stature and live heaven on earth.

I love the last part...in verse 15, about looking Him 'full in the face'.  When you are able to look someone full in the face that says you have no shame, no guilt!  That's my plan...to stay on the right path, so I can stand before Him without anything keeping me from looking Him full in the face!

I can not hide anything from a Holy God...so why even try? It makes more sense to me to just bring it all out into the open, so I can get the help I need that much quicker.

I am so thankful that I know Him.  He is my very best friend...the one that I can call on at anytime, day or night, no matter what the situation may be.  I am also very thankful that He knows my every thought and every struggle and yet still He loves me. 

You really can't beat that in a friend!

In the process of moving, I have had the distinct honor... *ahem* ...of getting to do massive amounts of cleaning on my old home, which includes nothing short of a ton of sorting and tossing of junk that I absolutely, stubbornly, downright refuse to bring to our new place.  No discussion!

Because of my new attitude of 'clean-sweepish-ness' I have been going through box after box of trash bags. Finding that I had once again ran out, I planned another trip to my local Walmart. 

To my dismay, my favorite choice of store brand, low-priced, 30-ct, 13 gallon trash bags were totally sold out.  There goes the budget! 

Looking for the next low-priced option, I came across the oxymoron of all trash bags....the brand shall remain nameless to protect the innocent (ME!)...but I found Vanilla scented trash bags!

I stood in the aisle and tried to imagine the scent of vanilla mingling with the scent of trash.  It was not very appealing to me.  Especially with some of the things that I have been finding that have been hidden under my kids' beds for waaay too long at our old house.  Eww.

See...I believe that trash odor has a purpose.  When trash has been sitting long enough to put off a foul odor, its a signal that says 'HEY!! Time to take the trash out!!!'  You start covering up that odor with perfumy scents, and I don't even want to think about the putrid things that will start multiplying in that trash bag!!!

It is the same way in our spiritual life.  We can only cover up trash that accumulates in our hearts for so long with perfume and pretty things on the outside, before that 'odor' will break out.  That odor is a signal that says 'Time to hit the altars!! Been waay too long since you have allowed a trash pick-up in here!!!'

In the mean time, what started out as a small odor will be multiplying and growing and it will become much harder to get the stench out. It's much better to be aware of any odor put off by any trash that first settles there, so that it can be dealt with quickly and easily!  

In the end, I chose the 'value pack' box of scent-free trash bags.  I still have a lot of cleaning to do at the old place, and a lot of junk to get rid of. 

It's a good idea to always have lots of trash bags on hand, right? Both physically and spritually.  But keep the vanilla scent for the candles! :-)

I started my online bible reading once again at Crosswalk.  I like to do my reading in The Message version, because I like its clear, down to earth language. Just so ya know. :-) 

Today's reading started out in Luke 6.  (On a side note, the scripture was even more alive for me because I had recently finished Francine River's book "The Scribe"...one of several books she has written based on real biblical characters...telling their 'story'.  Great books...check them out!)

So I was reading along and got down to verse 13 which states:

The next day he summoned his disciples; from them he selected twelve he designated as apostles:

...then it continues on to name them all, ending with verse 16 which says:

...Judas Iscariot, who betrayed him.

Ok. Stop the presses right there.  I mean I have read this scripture probably hundreds of times in my life.  I can remember having to memorize the names, in order, no less, for Bible quizzing purposes.  So why it should jump out so strongly today I have no idea....

But I read that, and I got distracted and could hardly concentrate on the rest of the day's bible reading! 

Jesus, who could have chosen anybody out of his disciples to be his close and personal apostles, chose one that he knew would betray him.  Jesus, who knows it all from the beginning to the end, sees it all, IS it all, still chose to bring into his inner circle a man that would eventually betray him.

I suppose some could play the Devil's Advocate and say that He HAD to in order for the prophecies to be fulfilled...

But I choose to believe it was much more than that.  I choose to believe that Jesus looked deep into the heart of Judas and saw that there was something there...a chance, no matter how slight, that He might be able to make a difference in his life.  And then, in His infinite grace and mercy He reached out daily to Judas and drew him to Himself...and paid with the ultimate sacrifice.

That's just the kind of God I serve.  He will never stop trying to reach for those that are lost.  It doesn't matter what their past is, or what their future looks like.  He will always be there for them. 

Jesus chose Judas.  Today, He chooses you and me.  What choice will you make?

My boys and I just finished watching the 1960 version movie "The Time Machine" (maybe the only version..I have no idea!) based on H.G Wells' book.

At the very end, Mr.Filby's character says, "..it's not like George to return to build a civilization empty handed...he must have taken something..." And the housekeeper then states that she notices 3 books are missing, but she does not know which ones. Then Mr. Filby asks her, "Which ones would you have taken?"

I thought that was interesting. :-) 

My list?  Why, thank you for asking!

1. The Bible, of course. What better way to instill a moral sense of right and wrong. And in the US of A, anyway,  it is what a good deal of laws and such were originally based on, no matter how far, liberally minded, politically correct so-and-so's have gotten us off-track. *Ahem*

2. "Every Thing I Needed To Know I Learned In KinderGarten". Cause, its just got the good basic rules that some people just need to be reminded of.

3.  Any book by Dr. Suess or Shel Siverstein. Because you always have to have something fun and inspiring to read for those moments of too much stress, and I imagine civilazation building can be rather stressful.

So, what do you think???  Which 3 books would you have taken along on your journey to the future to re-build  civilization?  Inquiring minds want to know!

Yesterday I started my new job, working full-time in a call-center. So far, so good.  I didn't come home completely lost, I did actually learn a few things, even if I can't say Otarlarynogology yet.  Or spell it.   I'm learning.  It was just my first day after all!

I think I will enjoy working there.  There seems to be enough variety in the phone calls to keep things interesting (different types of accounts, etc) so that's fun. :-)  And everyone I met yesterday seemed niced enough.

Here's the thing...I haven't worked a full-time job in almost 13 years, so I am pretty happy to be working and REALLY excited about bringing home a paycheck.  I think it's gonna take a while for the 'work grumbles' to set in.

Especially having been on the flip side of being at home everyday, all the time...Don't get me wrong...I LOVED being able to be here for my kids.  It was always my dream to be able to do that.  It just would have been nice to be a little more appreciated for it at times, you know? (I know only other moms will be able to truly appreciate that statement...)

I have also been shown recently how little the world cares for sacrifices like that when I went in recently to try and get financing for a car loan in my own name.  When I stopped working in the world, and stopped earning a paycheck, and stopped having credit in my name (because of the no paycheck thing!) , well...basically...I stopped existing for the world.  That is just WRONG! 

So EVEN THOUGH I had great credit when I paid off my student loans in MY name, and credit cards in MY name, because I stopped working to be with my children, I ceased to exist, and now must start alllll over credit-wise.  HARRRUUUMMMPPPHHH!!!  So, so, wrong!

*ahem*

Anyway...I am really glad to be working again. :-) And I need to leave here really soon for my 2nd day, so I guess I better wrap this up!

You know how some movies have the short films at the beginning or at the end, purely for your entertainment, or for a quick snack run or bathroom break or whatever?  Well, sometimes I have dreams like that. :-) Little snippets that make absolutely no sense sometimes but are just there.

But this morning I had one of those snippets, and it actually made a whole lot of sense and was rather profound to my sleepy mind.

I am sure there was more to it, but the part of my dream that sticks out to me was my oldest son had a marker and had been writing the name of Jesus all over a piece of cardboard or something...Then he was trying to erase part of what he had written to make room to write more words.

In my dream, he showed me what he was doing and asked why he wasn't able to erase what he had done.

I replied to him, "You have written the name of Jesus so many times on here, it can never be erased."

Then I woke up.

And I thought to myself....WOW.  THAT is what I want in my life.  I want Jesus to be written in my life...every aspect of it...in indelible ink.  Do you know what that word means?

in·del·i·ble-1. making marks that cannot be erased, removed, or the like 2. that cannot be eliminated, forgotten, changed, or the like

I want Jesus to be applied so many times to my life, that just like in my dream, there is NO WAY, to remove Him.  I want His hand on everything I do.  Every step I take. 

When something good happens in my life, I want my first thought to be, "Thank You, Jesus, for this blessing!"  When something bad happens in my life, I want my first thought to be, "Jesus, I know you are there and will see me through!" 

When people look at me, I want them to see the marks of Jesus shining through.  Everything I do, all that I am, all that I ever will be is about Him.

Like a toddler scribbling on a wall with a permanant marker, I have written the name of Jesus on my heart over and over and over again.  He will never be removed from me.   I am His and He is mine. 

And I will always love Him for it. :-)

Yesterday was a non-school day for my youngest son.  He was a chatter box from the very moment he woke up too. Which was waay too early to suit me.

He was watching a 'Rescue Heros' DVD while I was working on the computer and every few minutes (or much less! Hahaha!) he would run up and say something totally off the wall and I would make the appropriate comments back.

Then he sounded a little bit more serious when he said, "Hey Mommy, Guess what?"

I said, "What Honey?", wondering what gem of wisdom he was now going to tell me about.

He said, "I know someone who needs me."

I said, "Oh, you do? Well, who's that?"

He said, "You do.  And I need you too."  Just like that.  That simple.

And my heart melted.

I just love that kid!  And he's right.  I do need him. :-)

Last night after Bible Study, I took my daughter to get a winter coat, as its been getting quite chilly lately.  On the way, we stopped and I got an english toffee cappucino and she got hot chocolate.  Sitting in the car, I turned the seat heaters on. 

A few minutes later, my daughter says "Why is my butt getting as warm as my hands???" (She was holding her hot chocolate.)

I was like..."Um...the seat heaters???"

She said..."Ohhh!!!" Nice Honey...real nice. ROFLOL

We did find her a very nice, mature looking coat. Maybe that will help counteract that blondness that sometimes seeps through. *snort*

So that brings me to Today...I had an interview which was my first one in forever years, since I have been staying-at-home with the kids for sooooo long.  I was so incredibly nervous.  It didn't help that sometimes after I answered a question my interviewer would wrinkle her brow all up like "Well that's a strange way of putting it!"

But overall, it seems I did ok.  After I left, my friend who works there sent me a text (Thank you for that by the way! Made me feel better about the whole experience...like maybe I didn't fall flat on my face after all...Hahaha!), that it seems I was really liked, so as long as I can pass their test, it looks like I may have a job. 

I am trying to not faint at the thought of taking another test for these people. *breathing deeply*  So pray about that. Alot. Deep intecessory type prayer.

Ok. I am better now. I think. Maybe. ;-)

I think I have mentioned...more than once!...how very un-inspired I have been lately to write anything devotional-y here when it comes to blogging.  Some writers, I guess, can just pick a topic and go with it. Me, the topic more or less hits me up side the head and goes with me. Or something like that.

Anyway...Remember reading my blog about 'Band-Aids and Boo-Boo's'? (If not,click back to Sep. 18th and check it out!! and shame on you for not keeping up on my blog!! *wagging finger*)

So today, I was doing my daily bible reading, which I like to do online at Crosswalk, and was reading in Jeremiah 8 when I came across this passage of scripture (emphasis mine) in the Message version...

4 "Tell them this, God's Message: "'Do people fall down and not get up? Or take the wrong road and then just keep going? 5 So why does this people go backwards, and just keep on going - backwards! They stubbornly hold on to their illusions, refuse to change direction. 6 I listened carefully but heard not so much as a whisper. No one expressed one word of regret. Not a single "I'm sorry" did I hear. They just kept at it, blindly and stupidly banging their heads against a brick wall. 7 Cranes know when it's time to move south for winter. And robins, warblers, and bluebirds know when it's time to come back again. But my people? My people know nothing, not the first thing of God and his rule. 8 "'How can you say, "We know the score. We're the proud owners of God's revelation"? Look where it's gotten you - stuck in illusion. Your religion experts have taken you for a ride! 9 Your know-it-alls will be unmasked, caught and shown up for what they are. Look at them! They know everything but God's Word. Do you call that "knowing"? 10 "'So here's what will happen to the know-it-alls: I'll make them wifeless and homeless. Everyone's after the dishonest dollar, little people and big people alike. Prophets and priests and everyone in-between twist words and doctor truth. 11 My dear Daughter - my people - broken, shattered, and yet they put on band-aids, Saying, "It's not so bad. You'll be just fine." But things are not "just fine"! 12 Do you suppose they are embarrassed over this outrage? Not really. They have no shame. They don't even know how to blush. There's no hope for them. They've hit bottom and there's no getting up. As far as I'm concerned, they're finished.'" God has spoken.

Wow. When I wrote my little thing about bandaids and boo-boos, I had no idea this passage of scripture put it quite like this.  Makes me feel like maybe I can be a bit God inspired after all when I write. :-) 

Thanks, God, for that confirmation. I needed that.